I am forced to post today about something that infuriates me, something NOT AWESOME, something
So i just saw an article this morning about a little girl that killed herself by jumping off a cement factory silo, which sucks, but then i saw something infuriating. They’re sentencing 2 “bullies” with felony charges because of it!?!?!? what the hell!!?
I have 2 major problems with this, 1. we’re focusing on applying criminal charges to two young girls that “bullied” her? come on, we all know how girls are, do you really thing they’re THAT bad?
2. Killing yourself is a pointless waste, the only victim in suicide is you, DO NOT attempt to give suicide a meaning, when you show people that are apparently impressionable enough to jump off cement factories that people who commit suicide “get justice” don’t you think that they will see this as a more viable option? Suicide is pointless and must REMAIN pointless. I pray this trend does not catch on and people “responsible for people’s suicides” do not continue to be sentenced. Because, and you can quote me on this, I would lay down money that says the amount of suicides will triple if this becomes the norm.
You wanna stop people killing themselves? stop the situation, and teach the children ways to cope, do NOT give them a REASON to do it.
teach kids to stand up for each other, don’t Incentivize this pointless waste of human life.
What grounds do I base this on? I have acted as counsel for several individuals at several ages (spanning from 11-32) contemplating taking their own lives, I have spent more time trying to dissuade suicidal individuals than I would even care to recall. I have had a great deal of experience with people contemplating this SENSELESS act through my church’s youth group, through friends, and just that I’ve met on my own, I occasionally distastefully joke that ” they always seem to find me.” but you know what? I’m glad they do/did.
As I have told several people over the years, Suicide Is pointless and a waste, and a burden. Now They don’t like to hear that at first, and i’ve gotten several weird looks from people when I tell a person in that situation they’re doing something stupid. It seems the consensus on dealing with these people, OMG DON’T DO THAT YOU’LL PUSH THEM OVER THE EDGE. Bullshit, It is this mentality that keeps suicide so prominent in young people, especially young girls. People Pussy-Foot around them and console them and try and make them feel better, but that’s not the answer, it is a patch, a patch that puts you responsible, it puts you in the position as the “giver of happiness”. What this then in turn does is puts you in the place of that person’s loved ones, because you give them the kind attention they need, and yes it’s good, you WANT your relationship with those people to be strong, but not just because you say nice things, or worse, tell him/her that what he/she is doing is okay.
Suicide is a very delicate issue, one that is annoyingly commonly considered by young people. To them, ending their life, is viewed as a “way out” or done in the sense of “that’ll show them”.
To each there are answers that i usually give.
1. Suicide is a way out- Suicide is technically a way to ” end your suffering” but I severely doubt it’s what you’d really WANT.
An analogy i commonly use is that when it gets tough, life is like a broken leg. You can either deal with the circumstances, have the bone set, splinted, and placed in a cast, then after the doctor recommended amount of time you must attend physical therapy to restore the muscle tissue which has atrophied from being held stationary. It’s not a terribly enjoyable process, but in the end your leg is completely healed. Alternatively, you could have the leg amputated, grab a wheelchair and be good to go. Suicide is chopping off that leg instead of fixing it. It is the belief that your life will never ever improve, so why waste time relearning to walk when i can just put this to an end right now.
2. “That’ll show em” – this is usually the mentality of a bully victim put against a wall, THis person has done all that they could to fix a situation and be ignored, whether it is by a school board preventing a teacher from intervening, or parents who do unspeakable things to their children. With no-where else to turn, they somehow believe that the guilt that tehy THINK that person will feel is more valuable to them than living the rest of their natural life.
Well, to quote myself,” Listen, no offense but that is COMPLETELY inaccurate, What you Think, will happen, will not happen, the people you will be hurting, and the people you WANT to hurt are to entirely separate entities. Will that girl feel guilt over whatever portion she had in the decision you are contemplating? Maybe… Lets play this through for a moment, lets say you get home from school tomorrow, leave a note blaming everything on this girl, and actually go throw with it, you are now dead, from whatever means. Either immediately or a bit later when calling you for dinner, your mother will find your body, The body of her only daughter, Who she has made countless sacrifices to raise all on her own, and she loves unconditionally. Imagine the shock, picture for a moment, you went downstairs right now, and found your Mom lying face down in a pool of blood in the kitchen with only the point of an upturned knife protruding from her back. The impact of never hearing her voice again. Is that something you’d want to find? Why would you force HER to do the same thing. Trust me, the only people sure to be hurt in this whole ordeal, are those that care about you, not those that don’t.”
There are almost no situations where i would consider ending one’s own life to be the best option, pretty much the exception being if that life saves the lives of others, in which case, thank you hero.
I’ve begun rambling now so I’m going to stop now, but i really think cyber-bullying especially needs to be looked at more individually, becuase it can be anything from me saying a mean thing on your facebook page, to me hacking all your accounts and saying untruthful or hurtful things on your behalf.